


Under evil light

by ca_te



Category: Loveless
Genre: Angst, M/M, Shounen ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-05
Updated: 2010-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written on 28th June 2009.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Under evil light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [screamingchair](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=screamingchair).



> Written on 28th June 2009.

Soubi looks at the sun light splashing over the floor, near the bed. He doesn't like the angle that the light makes today. It's too sharp. It hurts the eyes.

On the kitchen table there are still beer cans and the ash tray. Soubi rubs the back of his neck. The bandage is rough under his fingertips. Soubi's skin has always been sensitive. That's why it doesn't heal, nor from Semei's cuts, nor from Ritsu's touches. They seem to have sink under his skin.

It's ten o'clock. Soubi lets the water splash in the sink. There are no clouds. May be this day will work out, despite this evil light.

There are not so many people around. Soubi walks slowly, a cigarette dangling from his lips, the sun getting caught by his hair. The asphalt radiates heat, lizards rustle inside the bushes around tidy gardens.

Soubi looks straight in front of him. He imagines Ritsuka's little body, inside that white room of his. He forces his legs into another direction. Soubi has always been good at forcing himself. To fight, to be silent. He never said, not even once, to Semei how much he desired to hold him. He has never told Ritsuka how many minutes he dedicates each day to worshipping his deep and sad eyes.

The sea is not calm and yet not agitated today. The evil light cuts through water and foam. Soubi thinks of needles and knives. He can feel tender sweat drops along the curve of his neck.

Summer has something hateful in it. May be in the children running along the beach, may be in the couples. It was a day whit a sharp evil light when Ritsu-sensei took away his ears. Soubi crashes the butt of the cigarette under his boot.

He flips opened his mobile-phone. Digital numbers say that it's almost noon. Soubi sits on a bench. He imagines Ritsuka's pale skin under the sun. The sound of waves disturbs him.

The time passes. As ink dripping. Soubi smokes and looks at his shoes, and at the wooden jetty under them. He wonders if he should stop to paint butterflies, and paint still lives instead. They always struck him, when he visits some museum. They are life and yet they are so dead.

The jetty creaks. There's a pair of sneakers in front of him now. His boots and the sneakers. And the wood.

\- I'm late. Sorry.

The sound of the waves crashing down below almost covers Ritsuka's voice.

\- Don't be, Ritsuka.

Soubi lifts his gaze. Ritsuka really looks like a small statue, like the ones old women put in their living rooms. His skin his white and almost transparent under the light. He keeps his hands balled into fists, over his chest. He just seems too light.

Soubi gets up. He feels his back bones cracking into place.

\- Is it not too hot for you out here, Ritsuka?

Soubi notices the small sweat drops on the boy forehead, the way his hair fall heavily over his eyes. He feels chills along his arms as he fights the desire to lick them away. Just as a slave would do. Just as a lover would do.

\- I-I'm not that weak Soubi!

Soubi likes when Ritsuka rises his voice. It surpasses the disturbing sound of the waves. He rubs the back of his neck. It's wet there, the bandage is all cramped.

\- As you want.

\- Can we go to the beach?

Soubi smiles. Ritsuka certainly is not used to have the things he asks for. Soubi ruffles his dark hair.

\- You just have to ask, Ritsuka.

Soubi walks slowly, the sand throwing him out of balance. Sometimes he would like to be still a kid. To move easily. To escape easily. Ritsuka's tail swings back and forth. Soubi thinks that maybe he has never built a sand castle. The old Ritsuka must have played with the sand a lot, with smiling parents. Soubi stops in his tracks. Ritsuka goes ahead, then he stops. The water has calmed down, the waves are slowly licking the sand.

Ritsuka turns and his hair seems even darker under the sun light falling down on them.

\- Soubi?

Soubi adjusts his glasses. He wonders if in the end he is not a child. To feel so lost in front of this boy. To want to erase the sound of the waves just to hear his voice better. He shakes his head.

\- Soubi, are you feeling well?

Ritsuka walks back and presses a pale hand over Soubi's chest.

\- May be is better if we go back. It is too hot here.

Soubi looks at the boy. He won't say that it's not the heat's fault. He won't say anything. He just leans down, his long fingers tilting up Ritsuka's chin. His blood warms up as he sees the boy's eyes. Every time he kisses him there's a moment in which pride and desire fight in those orbs, and the sight of Ritsuka's iris softening at the edges it's mesmerizing. More than everything. More that Semei's words. More than freedom.

Soubi kisses Ritsuka softly, keeping his desire at bay. Ritsuka's lips are fresh. Soubi thinks of the ice creams the Ritsuka who is unknown to him, and the boy he has never been could have eat.

Ritsuka's hands are decisive. They too leave signs on Soubi's skin.

\- Soubi! Not here!

Soubi thinks that maybe he prefers the angry Ritsuka, because it doesn't leave space to the foolishness of his own lonely heart.

\- Now lets go. You have to drink something.

Soubi lets Ritsuka grabbing his hand, and guiding him along the beach, towards the street.

Soubi looks at their hands. The sound of the waves covers everything again.


End file.
